A Slow Nudge Towards Missionary Life
It’s been a few years now that God seems to have been slowly nudging me towards full time missions. I’m still discerning where and how…
However, when my sister Susanna joined and for some years before, I had three serious reasons why I didn’t even consider it:
1. I didn’t believe in actively evangelizing (I had many fights with Sue about it).
2. I didn’t love the poor.
3. Foreign mission wasn’t in ‘my plan’ for my life. (And Susanna was doing it!)
In the past couple of years, and at SSME in particular, God worked on my problems with evangelizing and showed me that it really was my calling, and the call to all Christians. In fact, after SSME, I even gave talks on the importance of evangelism and on methods of evangelism! (You know how God sometimes shows us His fun sense of humour!)
Loving the poor was something I had struggled with forever. Even as a little girl, I used to refuse to hold our maid’s hand. Living in a large city in India, I was so used to seeing people living in poverty all around me, and not caring or reacting at all. My heart was stone.
I prayed about it for years, asking God to help me love and see people as He saw them.
Now, looking back, I can see how things slowly changed, how Jesus answered my prayers even though I didn’t see it. Anyway, He gave me the final shove last month at the mission trip to Calcutta. That was where Jesus showed me that I don’t need to ‘feel loving’ all the time, but that He can give me what I need to love, no matter how I feel!
About the last point, God has been showing me that His plan for my life is so much better than mine and that I’m happiest when I’m actively serving. When I was at SSME in the Philippines last year, I felt called really strongly to full time, foreign mission, but then I came back home and didn’t do anything about it (procrastination—my pet failing).
Right now I don’t know exactly where He wants me to go, but I’m peaceful that as I stay open to His will, and actively discern, I will get there.
Please pray with me to help me discern what Jesus wants me to do next year. Pray that He ‘closes and opens doors’.
If you feel like Jesus is sending you a message for me, feel free to tell me 🙂
By Joanna De A.