Gospel Goodbyes

“Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain. Even if I am to be poured as a libation upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all. Likewise, you also should be glad and rejoice with me,” (Phil 2:14-16).

An epic missionary shared with me a time when she was leaving her post of many years and didn’t know if she would ever return. She was deeply struggling with the transition—even more so than when she originally began her missionary journey. She reached out to another epic missionary who explained the “Gospel goodbye.” A Gospel goodbye is understood to be a deeper depth and a heavier grief than “most goodbyes” because so much is poured out while sharing the love of Christ with others. Because of this extent of love and effort given (and received), it takes a stronger toll on the heart. As Mr. Andy Ringle, another epic missionary, puts it, “there is an exchange of souls.”

This really resonated with me.

Before returning to Costa Rica last January, our family had our annual discernment retreat. It was clear in our time of prayer that this would be our last season in Costa Rica. On one hand, there was direction and peace, knowing that our purpose was to “wrap things up” and leave well. On the other hand, it was quite difficult. We wondered how God was going to continue the mission. There was even complaining and questioning by one in our family who struggles with “letting go” in the first place.

We were just beginning to communicate well enough, have deeper connections, and “know our way around.” Of course there was questioning and grumbling! Maybe we just didn’t “hear” correctly.

However, God, in all His wonderful mercy, gave some consolations.

Time in prayer repeated messages of trust and “not to fear,” along with examples of the disciples on the move. Our mission trip illuminated the need for my husband Chris to communicate more (believe it or not), and the joy that was unavoidably visible in doing so. People from the community started to carry the torch of some of our ministries, specifically one new family who seemed to “come out of the blue.” They befriended us and shared that this work is something they feel God is calling them to do in the community. It was encouraging.

Our visit with our bishop, Monsignor Jose Manuel Garita, allowed this to sink in even more as he reassured us that this is exactly what is expected. He reminded us that mission life is supposed to be spreading seeds here and there, and then allowing God to fertilize and water it as we move on to another “field.” We are continual sojourners, “gypsies” as one of our friends calls us. Monsignor Jose Manuel shared his appreciation and gave us his blessing.

So where to now?

Again, we took some time as a family to discern. The result was a strong desire to walk alongside other missionaries who are serving alone in the field. The lack of community for an expat is draining for many. Life in missions is no exception. We have personally observed other missionaries struggling emotionally as they serve on their own for an extended period of time. We have also seen the deep joy of companionship during a visit, even if it is a brief one. We could temporarily serve together and be discipled, provide fellowship, and have “fresh eyes” to observe what may be helpful to encourage and motivate other missionaries in the field.

We plan to arrive on September 16 for exactly 90 days at our new mission post (the exact location will not be shared due to security reasons). Thank you so much for your prayers, support, and love for all of us! God has been so good to us through you, and we are eternally grateful.