God Invited Me to Step Out of the Boat

My life has felt rather ordinary lately, at least in comparison to the days when I lived and served in the foreign field. For the past three years, I’ve been serving on missionary formation staff while living at Big Woods Mission Base. It is a tremendous blessing to journey with new missionaries through their formation, yet, this past year left me feeling exhausted.

This isn’t how I imagined my missionary call being lived out.

I’m from a big family, so I did not travel much when I was younger. I didn’t leave the U.S. until 2017, when I visited Calcutta, India, for the first time. I had always been inspired by Mother Teresa, so I was eager to work alongside the Missionaries of Charity. At that time I had a real and growing desire to know God more. It was there on the streets of Calcutta that I saw Jesus in the faces of the poor. When God invited me to give up my own plans, my heart was open, and I became a missionary with Family Missions Company.

It was there on the streets of Calcutta that I saw Jesus in the faces of the poor.

When I was originally called, I wasn’t sure that I was cut out for it. All I knew was that the Lord was calling me, but I didn’t feel properly equipped. When I arrived at my first post in Haiti, I didn’t feel I was capable of truly loving the poor the way they needed to be loved. So I prayed and begged, “Lord, give me a heart for these people and a greater desire for this missionary vocation!”

It didn’t take long for God to go to work. The Lord gave me a heart of compassion and a deep love for the poor. He invited me to journey with them intimately and to sit in their sufferings and love them in that place.

Flash forward to 2024:
Intake training ended and I didn’t have any summer plans. God saw my fatigue and my need for renewal. Like Peter, who stepped out of the boat to walk on water, God invited me to step out of the boat with faith in Him. Jesus invited me to dream a little, and when I opened myself to seeing what He wanted me to see, I started dreaming about Calcutta. I am re-energized when I interact with the poor, so it’s no surprise that I teared up as soon as this idea stirred my heart’s desire.

Immediately, I thought, “There’s no way I can go there now! I have no one to go with! There’s not enough time to plan a trip across the world.” By grace alone, as soon as I started numbering the reasons I shouldn’t or couldn’t go, the Holy Spirit started removing obstacles.

In short order, God parted the sea for me. A friend and fellow missionary, Alexis Young, agreed to go with me. We were able to buy flights and find lodging quickly. Even our visas were approved at light speed. Every door opened, but that wasn’t enough.

Not only was I getting to go back to Calcutta, but God arranged my exact travel dates for this trip, June 16-30, to be precisely the same as my first trip there seven years prior. It was abundantly clear that this whole trip was a complete gift from the Lord.

It was abundantly clear that this whole trip was a complete gift from the Lord.

When I stepped into the Mother House of the Missionaries of Charity, I felt as if I was back home. Over the next two weeks, we went to Mass and Adoration with the sisters. We served alongside them in Mother Teresa’s homes, working with abused young women. What a gift it is to step into the lives of the poor and to be changed by them. When I encountered the poor young women in Calcutta, I knew it was Jesus Himself that I was loving.

God continued to show us His love and care after Alexis and I arrived in Calcutta. We were easily able to figure out food and transportation each day, and whenever an inconvenience arose, we gave thanks and relished the adventure of missions.

Over and over, I was awestruck by God’s generosity in bringing me back to this place where He called me to be a missionary. As I sat in the same place seven years later, my heart overflowed with complete gratitude for the Father’s love and His personal care in bringing me back to the place where He originally called me. This trip gave me the chance to remember again how He stirred my heart and to reflect back on all He had done after I said ‘yes.’

In drawing near to the poor, I have been changed by their faith. Seeing their radical dependence on God has changed the way I depend on Him. Most importantly, I realize that all of this work, all of our joys and tears, all of our successes and failures, they all belong to Jesus. He is so faithful. I’m only here because of Him. Growing in relationship with Jesus has made all the difference. No matter what I do, it is always for the love of Jesus, because He invited me.