St. Ignatius, My Daily Companion

I grew up loving and chatting with a wide variety of Saints. St. Anthony, my patron saint, was my go-to for my constantly misplaced pens, hairbrushes, and eventually car keys and phones. St. Francis winked at me in the beauty of nature, St. Cecilia inspired a greater love of music, and I longed to emulate the generosity of St. Elizabeth of Hungary. These saints have accompanied me from childhood and continue to be my go-to intercessors.

I didn’t really discover St. Ignatius of Loyola until about five years ago. I tried many times, unsuccessfully, to read the “Spiritual Exercises,” and concluded that St. Ignatius lived on some unreachable spiritual plain. After a real battle with discouragement, my spiritual director guided me to Father Timothy Gallagher’s “Discernment of Spirits.”

As I read a simple and clear explanation of Ignatius’ teachings on consolation and desolation, on being aware of the movement of the Spirit, discerning how to respond, and acting accordingly, I felt like a veil had been lifted off of my spiritual life. 

Tears filled my eyes as I read St. Ignatius’ explanation of desolation, “Darkness of soul, turmoil of spirit, inclination to what is low and earthly, restlessness arising from many disturbances which lead to lack of faith, lack of hope, and lack of love. The soul is wholly slothful, tepid, sad, and separated, as it were, from its Creator and Lord.”

Because of Fr. Gallagher’s clear explanation, I realized that the voice of the accuser that so often causes great turmoil of spirit in me, and a sense of separation from the Lord, was not the voice of God. Slowly, I have learned to reject that voice and tune in more closely to the voice of the Good Shepherd.

I feel that in St. Ignatius I have found perhaps my closest and most helpful saintly spiritual companion yet. He reminds me of myself, struggling mightily with pride, vanity, and selfishness, but he chose virtue over and over. He too had many strong emotions, which he did not become discouraged by, but used as tools to understand what God was doing in his heart. He changed the world through a life of prayer and being attuned to the work and voice of God in his heart day in and day out—his guidance has helped me to hear God much more clearly.

So, while I still call on St. Anthony multiple times a day to help me find my keys, I just as frequently look to St. Ignatius to help me find God’s will and presence in my daily life.

On his feast day, join me in praying his beautiful words:

“O my God, teach me to be generous

to serve you as you deserve to be served

to give without counting the cost

to spend myself without expecting any reward

but the knowledge that I am doing your holy will.

Amen.”