Eyes to See

Back in my middle school religion class, I remember selecting the Gospel of Mark for a final project. It is the shortest of the four Gospels, and there are plenty of miracles. Two decades later, as I gradually, daily, read the Bible in (more than) a Year, Jesus’ words repeated again and again in Mark’s Gospel, pierced my heart:

“Repent and believe in the gospel.” – Mark 1:15

My entire life I had been a Christian. 

I was baptized days after I was born. My parents taught me my first prayers and faithfully brought me to Sunday Mass. They sacrificed to send me, along with all my siblings, to Catholic elementary and high school. I received all my sacraments at the traditionally appointed time: First Holy Communion, Reconciliation, and Confirmation. I chose a Jesuit University. My husband and I were married in the Church and we baptized our own children as infants.

I had known about the person of Jesus my whole life and had kept him at an arm’s distance. God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit were terms I could correctly place on a fill-in-blank quiz. I said prayers without contemplating or pondering what I was saying. I hadn’t given Jesus my heart. I hadn’t allowed myself to be wooed by the Lover of my soul. 

But those words from Mark’s gospel, “repent and believe,” echoed in my soul as I cared for our small children, cleaned our house and prepared dinner. Jesus was inviting me into a real, living relationship with Him. 

Ever so slowly I surrendered space in my heart for the Holy Spirit to restore and make new. A friend invited me to an evening of Adoration and worship at Holy Hill. As I sat in front of the real presence of Jesus in the Eucharist, the Holy Spirit stirred up a desire to repent of my sins. 

By God’s grace I stepped into the long line for confession. I felt nervous and afraid. There was no way I could remember all the ways I had turned away from God after many, many years of living on my own terms.

Again, God’s grace filled in where I lacked. The Holy Spirit took over as I opened my bruised and battered heart to Jesus. I asked for my heart to be washed clean, to be reconciled with My Lord. The priest listened and gave me absolution. My penance: go and love your husband tenderly.

Miraculously, this small act of humility filled me with peace and gave me new eyes to see. 

Instead of dreading the endless chores at home and feeling like I hadn’t amounted to anything because I didn’t have a fabulous career, I could recognize the gift it is to stay home and take care of our children. I could thank my husband for working and providing for our family. 

The most profound change was how I could see so clearly God’s faithfulness throughout my life. His steadfast, unconditional love and His tender care of me and my family. Receiving His mercy opened up my entire being to living in freedom and joy.

This morning, as I woke before everyone else. I opened up the Lenten devotional my husband had given to me. Lo and behold, there was the very same call from Jesus: “repent and believe.”

This time the Holy Spirit was drawing me deeper into the Sacred of Heart of Jesus through the wise counsel of Bishop Robert Barron.

Bishop Barron gently explains the Greek for “repent” and “believe”:

First, repent is “Metanoeite,” which means “to go beyond the mind you have.”

“Jesus urges us to change our way of knowing, of perceiving and grasping reality, our perspective…

Minds, eyes, ears, senses, perceptions – all have to be opened up, turned around, revitalized. Metanoia, soul transformation, is Jesus’ first recommendation: open your eyes; see the coming together of the divine and the human, learn to live in the power of that Incarnation.”

Second, believe is “pisteuete,” which is “a way of being known,”

To believe is “to be overwhelmed by the power of God, to permit the divine energy to reign at all levels of one’s being…it is surrendering to the God who wants to be incarnate in us.”

Jesus is inviting us “to find the new center of our lives where he finds his own, in the unconditional love of God.”

Let us put to death the false adage: God helps those who help themselves.

Let us dwell in the light of the Lord.

Grant space to the Holy Spirit and we shall see the miracle of Jesus’ power to redeem.

Open our eyes to see and be known just as God sees and knows:

We are His beloved children.

I am cherished by the One who made me.

God longs to lavish you and me with every good and perfect gift.

All glory, honor and praise to Jesus, King of my heart!